“Ma'am, we're going to need to ask
you a few questions.”
Who is she talking to? Wait…
who the hell is she?
I racked my brain, trying to figure
out what the hell was going on. A million and one questions started racing
through my mind, making it hard to focus on the woman in front of me.
“Ma’am, can you tell me what
happened tonight?”
I cocked my head to the side,
looking dubiously at the woman dressed in a black suit with curious eyes.
“I’m Detective
Monroe and this is Officer Parkins.”
My gaze went from her to him within
a matter of seconds.
What are they talking about?
“Aubrey,” he announced. “Do you
remember me?”
I just stared at him not saying a
word or making a sound. Trying to find my clarity.
“Can you tell us what
happened last night?” Detective Monroe repeated, bringing my attention
back to her.
“We’re here to help you,” she
added.
Help me? What the fuck was going
on?
Their imposing figures loomed in
front of me, as if they were villains from a fairytale.
“Aubrey,” he coaxed, suddenly
raising his hand toward me. I instinctively flinched, leaning back as far as I
could, a reaction that had become second nature to me.
He grimaced, pulling back his arm.
“I’m not going to hurt you. You’re safe. We’re here to help you," he
repeated again.
I narrowed my eyes at him and then
her, trying to take them in.
“Do you know where you are?” she
followed with concern etched in her tone.
I glanced around the room, my eyes
not knowing where to look first.
I was at a loss.
“You’re at the hospital,” she said
as if reading my mind. “We can’t help you unless you talk to us. Do you
understand? I need you to at least nod.”
“No… No… No… I hate hospitals, I
hate hospitals,” I panicked, vigorously shaking my head.
She put her hands out in front of
her in a surrendering gesture. “Jeremy Montgomery,” she coaxed.
I scooted back, practically ripping
the IV from my arm, hugging my knees to my body. Still violently shaking my
head back and forth.
“No, no, no, no, no, no,” I chanted
over and over again, rocking back and forth. Trying to comfort myself like I
had done countless times before.
“Aubrey,” he soothed, touching me.
I swatted his hand away, covering
my ears now. “No! No! No! No!” I endlessly yelled out as loud as I could.
“What are you doing in here?”
someone shouted out, making me cover my ears harder, firmer.
I tucked my head in my lap, curling
up like a ball.
"I’m the doctor in charge and
no one gave you permission to come in here!” she yelled again.
Hands touched me everywhere, and
all at once, causing me to fight harder. Pain coursed through my entire body,
my head throbbed and my vision blurred.
“She's going into shock. Get the hell
out of here now! You’re not helping anything.”
“We’re trying to help her. We have
a Detective behind bars and a man who—”
“Nooooo!” I cried out. “No… no… no…
no… no…” I sobbed, my body shaking uncontrollably to the point of pain.
“Get out! Now!” she ordered.
“Aubrey, Aubrey, sweetie, you need
to stay with me. You need to calm down,” said the woman in scrubs and white
coat.
She
seems so familiar? Do I know her?
I shoved their hands away, pushing
at the grips they all had on me. At anything near me, at anything that was
touching me.
“Don’t touch me! Don’t fucking
touch me!” I screamed, violently thrashing my body around. Causing even more
pain. The sounds of the machines beeping all around me were deafening. “Don’t
fucking touch me!” I repeated, yelling out bloody murder.
“Grab her legs!” someone demanded
above me. “Help me grab her arms.”
Their hands were everywhere, trying
to control, trying to restrain me, trying to undo me.
“No! No! No! No!” I whipped around
every which way, but they were too strong for me.
They were always too strong for me.
“Please… please… please…” I bawled
like a baby, my emotions overtaking me, smothering me in nothing but a sea of
despair and loneliness.
“Shhh… shhh…” they coaxed and I
immediately pictured Dylan’s face, Dylan’s voice.
I instinctively placed my free hand
over my heart, taking in their words, “Shhh… shhh…”
My body felt slack, heavy, foreign,
as a warm sensation began surging through me from my head down to my toes.
“Shhh… go to sleep. Close your eyes
and go to sleep, Aubrey…” I heard them faintly say as an echo in the distance.
I shook my head, desperately trying
to keep my eyes open. I couldn’t fight it off. I never could. I closed my eyes
against my will, welcoming the darkness.
Silence.
Always numb.
Always alone.
Always afraid.
I secretly prayed that I would
never wake up. That I would die.
Knowing in my heart…
I
was never that lucky.
I walked into Alex’s restaurant
like a man on a goddamn mission.
“Fuck, man, what the hell happened
to you?” my friend Jacob asked, taking in my bloody lip, bruised eye, and
knuckles all cut up.
“Bad day at work,” I simply stated,
grabbing a beer from the bar.
“No shit,” was all he could reply.
“Happy birthday.” I pulled his
girlfriend Lily into a hug.
“Thanks, are you okay? Do you need
me to get you something?” She looked me over. Concern and worry etched in her
knowing eyes.
“Don’t fuss over me. I’m fine.
Comes with the job.”
“Okay.”
Family and friends all gathered
around celebrating Lily, my best friend Lucas’ baby sister’s twenty-fifth
birthday. Everyone was so goddamn happy and there wasn’t anything to be happy
about.
At least not for me.
Not ever again for me.
It didn’t take long to hear my
other friend Austin yell out, “What the fuck?”
Everyone turned, following the
direction of his gaze.
Everyone but me.
Three police officers walked in,
heading towards us. I was sitting down at the table beside Jacob and Lily,
sipping my beer like nothing was going on, as if my life wasn’t about to get
shit on and disposed of as if it meant nothing to begin with.
“Detective McGraw, we hate to have
to—”
“Just fucking do it,” I interrupted
the officer, standing to look at all of them.
The rest proceeded in slow fucking
motion and trust me if I could have sped it up, I would have.
“Dylan McGraw, you have the right
to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court
of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney,
one will be provided for you. Do you understand the rights I have just read to
you? With these rights in mind, do you wish to speak to me?”
I nodded and Jacob who was a lawyer
immediately jumped into action like I knew he would.
“What’s going on?” he asked.
“Dylan, do not say a word without me present. Do you understand me? Do not open
your mouth for nothing.”
I nodded again.
They finished handcuffing me and
escorted me out of the restaurant with all prying eyes on me. Shoving me in the
back of a cop car as I had done to so many people before, too many damn times
to count.
The irony was not lost on me.
I was fingerprinted, a mug shot was
taken, and I was stripped and searched before they pushed me into an empty cell
as I waited for Jacob to make his presence known.
I took a deep breath, sitting on
the bench with my head leaning back against the wall.
My entire life flashing before my
eyes like a goddamn movie reel I couldn’t pause or fucking stop.
I heard footsteps down the hall and
I didn’t have to wonder who it was.
“Come on, your lawyer wants to talk
to you.”
He handcuffed me once again and led
me down a narrow hallway into a room with a large rectangle table that had
chairs scattered along it. Jacob was sitting at the far end of the table,
exactly how I assumed he would be. I took the seat on the opposite end from
him, mostly because I didn’t want to walk that fucking far to be closer to him.
I was exhausted and I’m not talking
about physically.
They shut the door and left us
alone. Neither one of us spoke for I don’t know how damn long. We just kinda
stared at each other, waiting to see who would make the first move. I sighed,
leaning back into my chair, trying to get comfortable with the goddamn cuffs
cutting at my wrists.
“Jesus Christ, McGraw, what the
fuck did you get yourself into?”
I didn’t say a word. I didn’t even
fucking move.
“What? You’re just going to sit
there and stare at me all damn night?”
“I ain’t got nothin’ to say.”
“Cut the shit,” he gritted out.
“What do you want from me, Jacob? A
fuckin’ bedtime story?”
He leaned into the table with his arms
resting out in front of him.
“Listen to me, you stubborn son of
a bitch. You need to start talking and you need to start talking real fucking
quick. The charges you’re up against are going to take a goddamn miracle from
Jesus himself appearing in the courtroom to get you off. Now, you need to tell
me what the hell happened so I can do my job and save your sorry ass from
becoming someone’s bitch in a jail cell for the next decade. Do you understand
me?”
I cocked my head to the side and
spoke with conviction, “Where? Where would you like me to start?”
He didn’t falter not that I
expected him to.
“The
beginning, Dylan, start from the fucking beginning.”
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RELEASE DATE: FEBRUARY 16TH
